‘Nighthawk’ revisited

On November 1st 2014, my humble 16-year-old self published a 100-worded story called ‘Small Talk,’ inspired by Edward Hopper’s famous painting, ‘Nighthawks.’ I wrote the piece entirely based upon my own visual interpretation – one of innate loneliness and incessant overthinking in the presence of disconnected company. But I was fascinated – and delighted –…

existence anxiety

I have faith that things will fall together. We wake up each day and surrender to something greater than ourselves. But in the moment of ambiguity, it feels paralysing to exist when everything feels impermanent. I am finishing my final year of university, but not sure about whether I want to pursue higher education. I…

…And She’s Free!

She just submitted her last assignment for law and jurisprudence – one of her favourite units that revived her love for philosophy (yet again, for the umpteenth time. She is honestly considering dropping the English literature aspect of her arts degree because every moment spent away from philosophy is too long). She is amidst planning…

‘Smiling Depression’

There is someone who I care about, even though we have spoken only once. We run in the same social circles. I have the feeling he is going through a difficult time. He grew out his hair recently before cutting it again. As the saying goes: women cut their hair in crisis, men tend to…

Honours Year!

Down the hill from my university campus, there sits a quaint Middle-Eastern restaurant grooving to jovial cultural music. I just ate a giant morsel of charcoal-grilled kebabs and have the contentment of a merry inflated belly. The first pitter-patters of the day has students dashing, covering their hair, bags, and socks from drench. In moments…

…that awkward moment when your high school English assignments (2015) are some of the best written work you have ever produced. (cries) I was going through my Dropbox and found my favourite assignment written in high school – a satirical article on one of my favourite books, The Importance of Being Earnest. It was also…

11.1.2018

I tell myself that this is the last time I am pushing myself so hard – and yet, I find myself doing it, over and over again. What is this ideology that tells me I’m only worth existing if I am working? I know this is wrong, unhealthy, and the road to burn-out. Yet, I…

Limits on empathy

If human beings could understand each other’s pain perfectly, then we wouldn’t seek Allah’s understanding, compassion and mercy. It’s the limit of empathy that keeps us in search for something that transcends the material world into the spiritual realm. When we are misunderstood by the human beings around us, we recognise that one can never…

royalty

A small memory to share on this fine afternoon: My mum was telling my mami (Bengali for uncle’s wife) about my childlike association with royalty. At six years old, I had self-proclaimed myself as a princess and therefore assigned my father as the king. With mock sadness, my dad had commented, “But I am dark-skinned….

constructive beauty

As I grow older and closer to the culturally constructed ‘marriable age,’ I find the dialogue around beauty to be more prevalent when assessing girls for marriage. I am reminded of concepts of privilege, of prejudice, and often, dismissal when I hear those conversations. To dismiss a girl for a pretty face, but not a…

21

In three hours, I will be turning 21. I may have written about this in the past, but the few days around my birthday are rather sad for me. Birthdays become a concrete date for me to measure my progress; as someone who is committed to change for the better matched up with the flaw…