I Remember the Falling Rain

I remember gazing out my bedroom window, watching the rain cascade down the asphalt in a subtle, beautiful way. My window was blurred with raindrops, the clouds were a mellow silver, and car headlights shone through the water. I was mesmerised. For approximately ten minutes (which is possibly the greatest amount of time I’ve spent away from the computer), I just stood and watched the cars skid down. The world was a beautiful place.

I remember every afternoon after modern history where I’d just lie in my bed, trying to recover from the emotions suffocating me. Images of horror on civilian victims of the Vietnam war, all children, fleeing for their life; the unconcealed pain on African Americans as they were thrown aboard in the dark waters as the “ship was getting too heavy”; the dehumanisation and cruelty inflicted upon Jewish people during Nazi Germany, shattering their perception of home (“home” is not where you’re mercilessly slaughtered in concentration camps) –it all inks my mind with various strokes and symbols, as words cannot ever be enough.

I remember my New Years’ Resolution where I promised myself that I’d be more extroverted this year. I could comfortably sit in silence in a whole room of people and be perfectly content with a book; I am an introvert. However, recently I’ve discovered that “being myself” leads to loneliness, isolation and a constant fear of oblivion. I genuinely love people. Socializing tires me out, but I’m the happiest person alive when I’m talking to people –it’s worth the exhaustion.

I remember the first time I’ve visited a counsellor this year where family dilemma and academic stress led to a breakdown. After listening to my feelings and problems, he offered advice I have, admittedly, forgotten. However, two things stuck in my mind. Firstly, he said from a quick psychological evaluation that I don’t want people to think anything’s wrong. Secondly, he said: “Remember, everyone is struggling. Usually when people come to me, they’re under the false impression they’re the only ones, but you are not alone.” I took a lot of things away from that session; I pray that I never have to return.

I remember somebody once told me, “Wow, you’re really close to your mum, aren’t you?” after noting how much I tell her. But here’s the truth: I tell her everything that doesn’t matter, and nothing that does.

I remember when I found a quote on the internet –“Our ability to relax is in direct proportion to our ability to trust.“~ Robert Anthony– and decided that I wanted to trust more. This post is one of the hardest one I’ve ever written and I still deleted half the information in it. But I’d like to think I’m taking a step, regardless of how small, forward to trusting other people.

I remember the falling rain, both literally and metaphorically, but now I only remember the beauty.



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32 Comments Add yours

  1. Love your post! There’s always that dilemma about should we trust people and should we take risks and I sometimes say that we can’t be afraid of life. My advice to you is to be cautious but not too closed up, and try to find balance in everything. Trust is something people should earn:)

  2. litadoolan says:

    Lovely prose! So atmospheric and poetic.

    1. RamisaR says:

      Thank you so much! ❤

  3. Erica says:

    Falling rain…it is about perspective. Your post touched me because whatever you experienced, I have as well-to some degree.

    Rain, it soothes and nurtures plants. It does for us too, metaphorically speaking of course.

    1. RamisaR says:

      Beautiful reply. I love your own interpretation of the falling rain.
      Thank you so much for stopping by! 🙂

  4. Jinal Bhatt says:

    Beautiful words! Love the layout of your blog too; totally following you!
    Thank you for linking my post. I would love to have you read it and let me know your thoughts! Thanks! 🙂

    1. RamisaR says:

      Thank you so much! I loved your post, too; such a happy memory that made my day. 😀

  5. chynichole says:

    What an Elegant vocabulary you have. It draws me in from the first line. Thank you for linking me to your site.

    1. RamisaR says:

      Thank you so much for your kind words! And you are welcome; I think your poetry is wonderful. 😀

  6. marz says:

    These are very inspiring memories. Thanks for linking my post about my own memories and yes, never forget everyone is fighting their battles. You are not alone and just taking steps like this one, sharing memories on your blog, will help you realise people out there share similar stories and can relate. Thank you for sharing with us!

    1. RamisaR says:

      Thank you so much, marz. And I think that’s the most wonderful part of blogging; I never realised that I’d connected to people on a personal basis. And indeed, everybody is fighting their own battles; it’s something I should never forget. 🙂

  7. Thanks so much for using my post as an inspiration for yours… Glad you liked it!

    1. RamisaR says:

      You are welcome! I love your blog. 😀 (I’ve been checking out some of your posts, and they are wonderful)

      1. Thank you very much! What a compliment to wake up to!

  8. Dizzy says:

    Love this post – I see so much of me here too. Thanks for visiting and sharing my post too. I will definitely be visiting again 🙂

    1. RamisaR says:

      Thank you for stopping by, Dizzy! Extremely happy that you can relate. 😀

  9. Norma says:

    Absolutely wonderful post, Ramisa. I thought you were talking about me- introvert and trusting people, two things I struggled with as a child. But yes, I’ve change a bit on these two qualities about me. I believe life means learning, enjoying and changing and if that change is for our betterment then we should. 🙂

    1. RamisaR says:

      I’m so happy that you can relate to this post! Your viewpoint of life is terrific; learning, enjoying and changing is the best philosophy to have, in my opinion. Thank you so much for stopping by! ❤

  10. aishasoasis says:

    Beautiful post, Ramisa, I love that quote about relaxing being equal to trust, it’s very true in my case, too. I love blogging because I don’t trust the people I know to tell them all that I can put in my posts. I’m super introverted too, so my blogging gives me a great little world where I can be me, and yet be more!
    Thanks for the link, and for sharing a wonderful slice from your memory cake, I like it a lot! ♥♥♥ ;^)

    1. RamisaR says:

      That quote really changed my perception of trust and of life. 🙂 And I couldn’t have said it better myself: I love blogging because it gives me a place for myself & my thoughts, and that really helps. Thank you so much for stopping by! 😀 ❤

  11. Nirvana says:

    I love this! I especially like how you said the clouds were a mellow silver and the paragraphs after it. Keep up the great work! ^.^

    1. RamisaR says:

      Thank you so much, Nirvana! ❤

      1. Nirvana says:

        You’re welcome ♡

  12. nitinnair says:

    Nicely written. Thank you for linking my article 🙂

    1. RamisaR says:

      You’re welcome! And thank you. 🙂

      1. nitinnair says:

        Nice theme. Did you make it? 🙂

      2. RamisaR says:

        Thank you! 😀
        I made the header using fonts from Dafont.com and the social media icons I found online. But the theme is called Forever (it’s a WordPress one! :D)

  13. jgroeber says:

    Each of those memories listed could unfold into such gorgeous stories by themselves. Perhaps an inspiration for future posts? The one about your mother was like a song lyric: poetic, poignant and so true.

    1. RamisaR says:

      Thank you so much for stopping by! And for your kind words. 🙂
      I never thought about them as inspiration; great idea, I will definitely use it. Thank you! 😀

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